When conviction hits…oh happy day…. <3

After several weeks of being either gone or on the go most of the days, we have a relatively empty calendar stretching out before us so of course I have pretty much wasted the morning just enjoying not having to be anywhere. 

Do you ever struggle with trying to figure out if you are maturing or just getting lazy?

I have had a low-level conviction going for quite some time that I have gotten anemic spiritually.

Looking back, I see several contributing factors:

<3 An extended season of healing from some unexpected losses of relationship

<3 The quiet cloistering of Covid that made it possible to feel like I was walking by faith when in reality I was learning to walk by resignation

<3 Stepping down from teaching Sunday school and the realization that prepping had become my motivation for digging into Scripture. 

<3 A definite increase of time on social media to touch base and stay connected with friends during the pandemic

<3 Too much. Too much loss, too much anxiety, too much conflict out there, too many people telling too many versions of the “truth” in the news 

On my birthday this year, I had two people who are very dear to me ask me separately if I had any goal or focus word for this 63rd running of 365 days that lay ahead. 

It was the first time anyone has ever asked that of me on the anniversary of my birth. I felt the Lord was getting my attention since I myself had been thinking the same thing and was surprised at the idea. 

He usually speaks to me in three’s so …. I took my initial response a bit seriously but when the third asking landed on my soul, I decided maybe I should ask God what His thoughts were regarding a new alignment. 

In the subsequent weeks of listening, I began to notice places where I have spiritually gone numb.

Beyond my personal life, I realized I neglected to do a VBS this year and then was stricken one day this past week to remember that I have somewhere along the way lost the beautiful gift of Commemoration Week. 

I dug back through my old posts, discovering the last one I celebrated was in 2018.

I had been celebrating it for a dozen years at that point and while it had started and grown in a most blessed God-timing way, life had twisted and turned in the subsequent years and I think I got cynical around 2018 because I quit posting about it and I quit marking my calendar and my heart is sad for the loss of it.

So guess what?

Like the ancient Israelites stumbling across the long-forgotten treasures of God’s Word and having a revival as the priest was reading it over them and their families, I am dedicating this week to Commemoration of God and all HIs goodness. 

I am not going back over the old ones posted but starting fresh, even if it is a week late. If you are up late and needing something to read, you can type “Commemoration Week” in my search bar on this site and it should pull up the history of posts from 2014-2018. 

If not…no worries. 

We are kicking off fresh tomorrow…three years and one week and one day late, but I am excited. 

I feel the fanning of an ember that needs to burn fresh again. 

I hope you will join me <3