Random phrases that get me every time <3

Last weekend while we were watching one of the many NCAA games, I brought out one of three large storage bins filled with journals, old lesson plans, books and articles to sort through. I ended up with some filing to do, some things to pitch and a couple of notebooks where I had jotted ideas to write about. 

This selection made me laugh and I hope it does you as well. Please take it tongue in cheek, especially if you are prone to use any of the expressions I am covering. 

Remember I have a picture mind. Until I can form a picture in my brain of what you are telling me, the wheels and cogs are spinning at high rates of speed. 

Thus I must have decided one day to jot down some phrases people use that throw me off before I even have a chance to listen to what they are trying to say. 

Let’s call them Random Phrases since it’s Wednesday.

Random Phrase #1

“Let me pick your brain.” 

My response:

Please don’t. Ewwwww. This is followed by thoughts of every photo or film I have seen of birds and carnage. And whatever you were hoping to glean from any knowledge I may have, we are done with this. You and I and this conversation are finished. 

Random Phrase #2

“I like to play mind games.” 

My response:

I don’t. I forfeit. You win. Game over. 

Random Phrase #3

“What can I do you for?” 

My response:

Ok…what did you just say? Because as I am trying to figure out how to put that into correct grammatical sequence I totally lost what it was I needed from you. 

Random Phrase #4

“Let’s think outside the box”. 

My response:

No. Let’s not. Let’s all get back in the box. The box is safe. I understand the box. Everyone, please, just get back in the box. 

Random Phrase #5

“I want to run something by you.”

My response:

Not listening, because I am picturing you literally running past me with the stuff you are trying to tell me written on a poster board that you are carrying. So this whole time while you are talking, I am imagining trying to read it and I am a very slow reader. 

Random Phrase #6

“I’m just playing the devil’s advocate.“

My response:

Ooooh. Really? Now you’re kind of scaring me. So like..you are advocating for his side or kind of just representing him and his cause? No thanks. How about we just work on that being an ambassador for Christ thing?

Ha! I hope you laughed.

Are there any expressions that catch you in a funny way? Just me? I hope not. It’s good to have some laughter in your head when you are out there functioning like you are all grown up and sensible. 

Have a great Wednesday <3