Old wounds and fresh memories ….

Sometime in early December, I was hurrying to cut up some veggies for a recipe and I nicked my finger. By nick, I mean I thought it was just a little surface wound but soon realized I had gone in at an angle that was deeper than my original assessment.

 I had a couple bandages going and applied pressure and walked around with my hand raised while trying to finish getting ready for work. I changed the bandage and put another over and as I drove and saw that things were not sealing up as hoped, I got concerned. So I put yet another bandage over that one.

I called one of our favorite nurses (Rachel) and described the situation. She is oblivious to body fluids and I gave her more details than sharing here. 

She confirmed my thoughts that there was nothing to stitch the way the gash was presenting itself (trying to be delicate here for non-nurses and the faint of heart). She said keep doing what I was doing and so I carried on.

 Kim was working with me since it was Christmas season so she was concerned when she came in around noon. She suggested I let her look at the cut. It appeared to have leveled off and I told her thanks but no thanks….that bandage would be staying in place til I got home. 

Long story short, there were some tenuous days as the cut was at the nail bed and I was concerned about infection to that area as well as the eventual pain that came with such a deep cut. 

It was a gnarly looking finger but two months later there is no visible scar. The thing healed over beautifully and I can’t find a remnant of it at all. 

However, every time I go to chop veggies or slice bread, I wince. I am careful as I can be and I remember how much it hurt to heal. The memory of the accident comes front and center in my brain as I work on food prep.

All that to say, we all have been wounded along the journey in some way or another. We walk among fellow sojourners who have stories behind scars that can be seen and injuries that left no visible scarring. 

But there are triggers. Things happen that remind us of old injuries. 

These memories flash up in a soul and while nothing seems to make sense to those around us as we respond to some inner conflict, we are trying as hard as we can to maintain and carry on. 

So be patient with yourself and with others when moods change or a shadow settles over an otherwise sunny day. 

For yourself, stop and evaluate the feelings…acknowledge them…adjust anything that would prevent exposing yourself to another like injury and also be strengthened to know you survived the first and your are okay and while the memory hurts, the original insult was in the past. 

For others…just extend grace when someone is acting different or indifferent all of a sudden. Don’t assume you are at fault or you need to fix them. 

Just be there, remain faithful and loving, give space or hugs or a cup of tea or whatever the Lord leads you to do and remember there may be something you can’t see that is very real to your loved one. 

Blessings on your day…you are deeply loved <3