Moment by moment <3
Well, the tale of the washing machine is a sad one and resulted in us visiting a couple of appliance dealers yesterday. One sales associate started off showing us the top of the line. It is a Speed Queen, in case you are also in the market, and comes with quite the warranty.
The manufacturer is so confident in the product, it has the longest warranty on the market and comes with a life expectancy of 25 years. When the fellow proclaimed this news, all I could hear was our Rachel urging me to not do the math.
Time is fleeting and I am not the only one who senses it.
A few weeks ago, Caroline and I visited their local children’s museum. She still enjoys our after school stops there and never has enough time to do it all. We have found the crowds are minimal and she can use the 45 minutes we have to do as much as she can squeeze in.
But there is one area that is off limits. A gate into a smaller section warns us that you have to be five and under to play there. Inside is the short climbing wall she and the brothers loved to conquer on their little toddler legs. There is a pretend campsite and a barbecue grill and some cootie bugs you can put together.
It has been several years since we were last admitted to this protected area for small children and I figured she was fine with the bigger options out there. But that day, she lingered looking over the low wall that separates her from her early childhood.
With a sigh she finally turned towards the pretend hospital where she would nab a pair of crutches for me to adjust. Wistfully she said she missed playing there. She loved the grill and packing the basket for a picnic and ducking under the cut out hole in a fake apple tree.
As it did that day, a huge lump wells up as I type this morning. It forces tears out of a tight place in my heart where joy and gratitude seem to hurt sometimes. The love is big and the memories are crammed together deep down in this heart of mine.
They press in on all the ages and stages of my own life, our children and now our grandchildren.
As she used her crutches to head over to the grocery store, I cherished the moments. I didn’t mind helping her load up shopping bags, waiting while she ran them through the register and handing her my fistful of paper money. We put the purchased items away and scooted to the art room before it closed for the day.
Because life is short and the clock persists in ticking away.
So I fully embrace every long story, every request for Orange Leaf, every ball game, every concert, every dinner fixed and served around practices. There is a lot of life yet to live even if we didn’t get the Speed Queen. Because seriously, I did the math and if we have to buy another washer in the next 25 years, so be it <3