In honor of my mom <3
Today is the anniversary of my mom’s birth. She left us in December of 2008 and if you have or had a complicated relationship with your mom, let me tell you it is with great joy and deep gratitude to God’s healing and restoration of relationships that I can say, I miss her.
I am so thankful for her and have grown to appreciate all of her as time has passed, and I know that throughout her whole life she loved and cared for my sister and me to the very best of her ability.
We humans are fragile and we fight our demons and sometimes it interferes with relationships and I continue to grow in the understanding of this as the years pass.
When we brought my parents to our area so we could help advocate the care of my father’s further descent into Alzheimers disease, my mom had to live on her own for the very first time in her entire life.
In solitude she grew in her faith in incredible ways and she overcame some issues that had plagued her. She met Jesus in a personal and profound way and was in many ways transformed and yet in many ways remained her unique self.
God gifted me and my family a relationship with her that we all treasure. Five years of return on the years the locusts had nibbled on and we are so grateful.
One of my most precious moments from this time with her was a day when I had been called to meet up with my aunt, her sister, who had severe dementia and had taken yet another spill in the nursing home.
When the hospital called, I had asked if they would hold off on all tests until I could get there and help assess her mental state. She fell regularly and the care facility had to follow through with their end, but often there was a barrage of unnecessary scans and tests because she seemed “confused”.
The tests and scans were invasive for her and as her advocate, I wanted to be able to speak up. Also if the tests were deemed necessary this time, she would need someone with her to help explain what was happening. Over and over and over…
Well, the nurse I spoke with as I was scrambling to get out the door assumed I was Dr. Kevorkian’s friend because she lined me out on the phone like I was the cruelest person the planet.
I called my mom to update and told her I was concerned about what would happen once I got there given the impression I had left with the staff and then I headed out to face the music.
Of all our ER visit’s this one was the smoothest ever.
The nurse greeted me warmly and said that after speaking with my aunt she certainly understood my call. They had checked her over and determined she just needed a little bandage.
After a very short wait, she was attended to and dressed and carefully placed in my car to be returned to her facility.
I considered having them check me out because I was entering into all the signs of shock.
After I got her settled in her room, I called my mom.
She was so relieved and shared that since she had hung up from me she had just sat in her chair holding her Bible in her lap and had prayed for me. The kicker is she didn’t even make her bed.
This is important.
I thank God for answering machines and house phones in that time because she had left a message reporting all of these details while I had been taking care of my aunt. Over the ensuing years, when I was tempted to forget how faithfully God works to transform us, I would replay that saved message.
Because my mom could drive herself to medication with worry and anxiety.
My mom never didn’t make her bed.
My mom created worse case scenario’s that would make mine pale in comparison.
But that day, she let that bed go unmade.
That day when her daughter needed someone to intercede for her, she took her bible and sat in her chair and read and prayed.
That day she did not the only thing but the best thing she could do for me.
We have a world in great need of help right now and our words to each other about it and our worry over it and our keeping busy with our stuff won’t provide the help it needs.
So people of faith, sons and daughters of the Most High God, open your Bible and pray.
Thank you for sharing these words. They ministered to me this morning. My relationship with my mother was stressful at best. I didn’t understand why until she had gone to be with Jesus. I didn’t try to understand. I loved your phrase, “to the best of her ability.” That’s the part I didn’t get until too late. There are times I feel guilty, but I’ve learned to pray that guilt away. Like you, I can now say, “I miss her.” Blessings to you and yours!
Thank you for your transparency. I am sharing this because you didn’t mark private. I think there is a shame and guilt in younger women when they don’t have a close relationship with their mom. It is important to share that this is often a challenging relationship. WE hope and pray our daughters and sons would not say same of us, but in reality we are fragile and broken people and relationships are difficult but well worth the effort of growing and learning together <3