And we readjust yet again

Late Sunday afternoon, I pulled some clothes out of the dryer. I try not to do laundry on Sunday as a kind of Sabbath rest effort. To be fair, the clothes I pulled out had been tumbled dry on Saturday so at least I partially rested from laundry.

Since they had been sitting in there for a while, I knew I would have to iron a few things but when I pulled out a couple pairs of Russ’s khaki shorts I just started crying. He has been donning nice shorts and a sports top – be it zip front in cooler weather or polo once summer hit – since they told him to pack up his computer and desk needs and head for home in March.

We adjusted to him working at the kitchen table for a few weeks. When it became clear this was not going to be a quick fix, I cleared my stuff out of the office and he moved in. I have found a new home for what I do and he settled in nicely. It worked well except sometimes he forgot to clock out after 5 or on the weekends. But that’s the nature of what he does and we adapted to it.

Now his department has been called to return to the office for alternating weeks. He will go in this week and be home next week and so it will go for who knows how long. I am not sure how I feel about that. I didn’t know how he would do making his office here and I didn’t know how it would affect what I do, but we settled in well. For somebody who doesn’t mind being alone (me) and someone who gets energized by people (him); we did just fine.

So on Sunday afternoon, I cried and carried the khaki shorts into where he was reading and he got up and gave me a hug because he knows me. He knows change is hard for me. And this year has been nothing but change.

I was thinking as I walked this evening about how suddenly everything just stopped. Well, not the health care workers who had to keep going in at least part time. But the stores, our jobs, schools, the economy, church attendance; everything just stopped.

My mind rambled and I was thinking how when someone suddenly dies and we all keep going on it is such a shock, but the rest of the world continues moving and there is an order and a comfort in that. But this was like the whole system of the way things are done around the world died suddenly and we couldn’t even reach out to people in person.

We entered a weird world of zoom meetings for families and friends and business. We learned how to operate the Smart TV we didn’t even know we owned so we could watch church. We cried when they ran clips of people from the congregation and pointed to them and named them like they had moved to the other side of the world. Suddenly people like Michael W. Smith seemed to be in our inner circle as he held worship services from his home every Saturday night.

As I have gradually been able to return to working in the store one day a week and resumed traveling to take care of little ones while mom and dad work, Russ has been here at home still. It was kind of grounding to me to know that when I was gone, he was here. It gave some stability to the crazy up-ended state of things. I am a homebody and if half of me was still home while I was gone, it made sense.

But Monday morning I stood in the door that leads to the garage and waved him off and cried again. And when it came time for lunch and I went back to sitting by myself at the table, I decided to copy an idea from the MLB. I heard they are offering fans the opportunity to have a picture of themselves made to sit in the stands. I found one that made me smile, tho I may have to have it enlarged.

We are making it through another phase of adjusting. How are you doing?

I think of parents scrambling for people to cover their children in remote learning as they are called back to the office. I think of shops that have closed and the fear of others who made it through so far as our governor warns of another shut down if numbers don’t improve. I think of the battle of words and rhetoric ahead as we now have our political parties loaded for the campaign trail, and I am not sure how much more division and anger and angst the everyday ordinary folks can handle.

But God.

God will meet us and exceed our hopes. He is leading us through.

My desk calendar today reminds me:

By His life, He demonstrated His kingdom.By His death, He purchased freedom for you and me. By His resurrection, He lives in the hearts of His people.

Fierce Love desk calendar, Dayspring

Keep your focus on these truths, stay grounded and carry on <3