You want me to what????

It is no coincidence that the theme, on my mind and on the website this week, has focused on the topic of forgiving and forgiveness.

Since the whole point of Lent and Holy Week and Easter is about … well…FORGIVEN.

And….if you know me, you know that the wonderings that have wandered in and out of this blonde brain have been varied and random.

Like no one, in their right mind would say, “A penny for your thoughts, Laura”.

But here you are…reading one of them…aren’t you blessed…

There was a time as a young mom that I started really taking God seriously.

Oh, I was raised in a Christian home and had all of that and more in my heritage, but something about trying to hold onto sanity while corralling three offspring of the widest possible range of personalities does prompt one to seek the wisdom of God.

For sure.

As I began to attend Bible studies, and actually read the Scripture passages instead of just the pithy devotions in Our Daily Bread; God started bringing about some convictions in me.

One of them was particularly disdainful.

It involved dragging up two specific instances from my youth and apologizing to my mother about the heartache they had caused her. On paper, the two transgressions were not really wrong on my part. But they were decisions my mom had not agreed with. To say the least.

In our functionally dysfunctional home, the distress my choices had caused my mom carried repercussions that I was not interested in revisiting.

But God kept dragging it up that I needed to apologize.

I had a whole list of reasons why it was not a good idea.

After all, He who made my mother surely knew how badly this could go if I reminded her of the infractions and admitted guilt this late in the game.

And to be honest, an apology is like admitting I am wrong…and I hadn’t been wrong….right?

Well, God kept nudging me and I kept giving Him excuses until one day, I simply couldn’t take it anymore.

I picked up the phone and started dialing her number.

Being a godly woman, I told God that I hoped He was happy, because in short order He would see how bad of an idea this was.

But I was wrong.

Very, very, oh so delightedly wrong.

I told her why I was calling and stumbled through naming the two events and then asked her forgiveness.

On the other end, this woman that I thought I knew so well told me she had forgotten about those things years ago.

She told me how much she loved me and what a good daughter I was to her. How grateful she was for me. That anything I ever did to cause her pain had been far outbalanced by good.

And then she added that maybe I just needed to hear her say I was forgiven, so if that would help me have peace, then I was forgiven for anything I needed forgiveness for.

As I felt a weight lifting that I had not even known was pressing down on me all those years, I believe I may have heard a heavenly chuckle and an Almighty ‘I told you so….”

I have made other apologies that didn’t end so sweetly, but I have not regretted one single attempt to apologize and seek reconciliation, no matter the end result.

If God tells you to say you are sorry…even if the only wrong-doing is in the other person’s perception…do it.

DO IT NOW….you have nothing to lose (but your pride)… and everything to gain <3